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sorry everyone...

November 18, 2007

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hi im sorry about the long blog i wrote its ok if u are lazy to read it..hey its about family..thats the wai it is meant to be..well anyways im terribily sorry...

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Just had a miserable camp...

hey there ppl hey i just had my red cross camp and it was suppose to be a big bang ok..fun, interesting, not ordinary than usual...*sigh* and guess who fell sick..yup i guessed it..me..what a rip off..i was so sick that the second day i had to stay in bed till noon..i was so sad that i could not participate..den after my red cross camp theres another camp that im suppose to go to..but then he was the first one to tell me not to go..den i wondered to myself..wow..i confessed to him about how i feel yet i thought it would be awkward(sry dunno how to spell..heh) to talk to him..or the other way round..but he still cared...i was touched..so i kept on telling myself when i was going home..yes..he sill cares..but sometime i just wanna ask him whether i could think of us more than friends but not lovers...like siblings..(thats the closest i could think of)..well if that person reads this i just wanna say thank you..and lets talk like normal not so formal just because of that...

what now...

hmm... i have to let go.... i want to cry but cant find a reason why... if i do cry.... its because of mine own mistake... i cant reveal it... why?!... i feel like breaking down and just letting it go..but for wat?.. its my fault... am i strong enough to let 'it' go?... can i?... will i?...im trying to but whenever 'it' comes by i feel weird and i everything that i build up just crumble down again... den when i left it open to let 'it' in again, 'it' just breaks my heart and leave my trembling... leaving me a harder way to put that barrier up again... have decision do i have to make?...

will u be there? (poem)

love is not easy, it can be nice and also eerie. my love for thee is always at its peak, when u are around or when i seek. my heart aches whenever i remember i cant hv you, n against it all i don't want it to be true. my love is like rose, beautiful n wonderful, but if i want it, it'll prick me and leave a blood trail. and if i do not love, all of me will crumble on top of wat i have. and if u leave me, i will try not to burden thee......

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